Back in high school, some of the guys in the preppy ski-bum crowd had this phrase, "B.O.C." -- ballin' outta control. Well, our son Ephraim seems to have picked up on it, except now he's bawlin' outta control. This kid cries all. the. time.
If I sleep in more than one-hour stretches, it's a good night. On Sunday night I got a whopping two-and-a-half hours total. In order to alleviate Ephraim's madness, our pediatrician has put Olivia on a strict no-dairy diet. (You'd be amazed how seemingly everything contains some kind of milk protein!)
Not coincidentally, I read 1 Corinthians 13 last week. I definitely have a context for learning that "Love is patient and kind. ... Love is not irritable or resentful. ... Love bears all things, ... endures all things."
So just to spare you an angry look, in case you're another one to ask us, "Are you loving every minute of it [being a parent]?" The answer is No. We love our son, but we don't love parenting. But that doesn't really matter, because it wasn't our choice anyway.
Showing posts with label sovereignty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sovereignty. Show all posts
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Trusting God When Your Loved Ones Reject Christ
In the Reformed/Presbyterian tradition where I find myself, we believe very much that God works in families and that he not only saves individuals, but promises his salvation to their whole families as well (see, e.g., Acts 2:39: "For the promise is for you and for your children . . . ."). In fact, among the chief means God uses to raise disciples is the care and instruction of parents and fellow church members.
Sadly, however, we have all seen many examples where this doesn't work out right. A child may be brought into the church and given God's promises in baptism, and his parents might faithfully teach him the faith and pray for him day and night, yet he may never come to know the Lord. (Of course, the Bible says we're not merely neutrally unconvinced about Jesus. Unbelievers, rather, actively spurn and reject him in favor of their preferred idols.) Does this mean God has failed? One can hardly blame a parent when he grieves and is upset toward God when his children drift away or fail to embrace Jesus as their Rescuer and Lord. Is God impotent? Aloof? Cavalier? Arbitrary?
As I've been reading through Romans again lately, these questions find their answers. Of course I do not intend to suppose these will satisfactorily calm all the travail a loving Christian parent will surely experience, but I know that they are true. And I might as well impress these lessons upon my own heart now, should I later find myself in this same predicament. So here are three explanations from Romans 9-11 as to why children raised in a godly home and/or in the church fail to grasp Christ.
God has not chosen some for salvation (Romans 9:1-29). In this section of his letter, Paul addressed the question of why the Jews have pretty much cart-blanche written off Jesus as the Messiah. If God promised to save his people and make them a blessing to the world, why then have the Jews failed both to obey the Law and also to trust Christ and so be saved? Haven't God's promises failed? some might ask. An emphatic NO! is his reply. "But it is not as though the word of God has failed" (v. 6). Paul goes on to argue that while God's salvation was truly promised to all of Abraham's descendants, only a portion or remnant of his offspring--"the children of the promise"--are chosen by God. The reality Paul lays out is that God, in his freedom as Creator, has not shown the same mercy upon all people. Why not? It is so that the world will see that salvation lies not in their own abilities and desires and deeds, but in God's. "So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy" (v. 16; cf. v. 11).
God does have "mercy on whomever he wills, and he hardens whom he wills" (v. 19). But this is no injustice. In the Bible, when someone is spoken of being hardened in his sin, this is always God's act of judgment by which he simply gives sinners what they've wanted all along: their own kingdom apart from the Lord's rule. Paul uses the example of Pharaoh, who already hated and rejected God, as one whom God hardened. Likewise Paul shows that God lets people feel the full weight of their sin (1:24, 26, 28), as they wish. By even invoking the word mercy, Paul shows that the natural state of anyone is as a wrath-deserving rebel. If you weren't already an enemy of God, why would it be then mercy which God sheds on you? So in saving only some people, God is simply being more merciful to them than to others.
Unbelievers are simply that--unbelievers (9:30 - 10:21). Paul makes it evident that salvation doesn't demand jumping through spiritual hoops or figuring out some enigmatic metaphysical puzzle. Rather, it's as simple as trusting the message about Jesus Christ, who is near all through the gospel. When Jesus is proclaimed, we are called to believe in him in our hearts and to confess his name publicly. It's as simple as that (10:5-13).
What this means is that as a parent or friend, if you have spoken often and clearly to that person of repentance and faith in Christ and prayed for his salvation, it's not your fault that person doesn't know the Lord. It's his. God's call and his promises are for everyone in the church, all who hear, but some refuse to believe. And in the end, that's the fact. They personally failed to obey the gospel (vv. 16-21). And their faithlessness does not nullify God's faithfulness (3:3-4). They simply rather love something more than the faithful God.
Now this may be seem at odds with the fact that no one believes unless God graciously gives them faith (Phil. 1:29; Eph. 2:8-9; 2 Tim. 2:24-26). But despite the mysteries of election and God's sovereignty, the reality is that God also freely offers eternal life to all through the gospel (John 3:16). God's offer is no less real, neither is their rejection of the gospel and their failure to repent.
God has a good and wise plan, even when we don't understand it fully (11:1-36). Paul finishes his argument for God's fidelity by pointing out that God hasn't given up on Israel even though only a few Jews now believe. Rather, he has for a time opened the door wide so that people from all nations might belong to God. And in due time, Jews again will embrace their Messiah and find their home in the church. But Paul calls this plan a "mystery" contrary to our own human wisdom (v. 25). In the fullness of God's perfect, superior wisdom and purposes, what looks like a puzzling failure or injustice on God's part actually is serving to make his mercy as far-reaching and expansive as possible (vv. 30-32). This leads Paul to break out in praise:
Where is his divine wisdom most fully put on display? It is seen nowhere more radiantly and clearly than in the Cross of Jesus Christ. "For Jews demand signs and Greeks seek wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles, but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God" (1 Cor. 1:22-24; cf. vv. 30-31; Luke 11:31; Col. 2:3). When you look at the Man of Sorrows carrying the world's sickness and sin, hanging on the cross in shame, and dying to bear God's wrath and shed forgiveness upon a world of sinners, do you not see there God's love? His mercy? His goodness? His grace? Can you look at the cross and see in it an evil God, lording his might over the world and wantonly crushing sinners under his finger without a care? No! So we can trust that even when it seems like God is aloof or injust, or even powerless, he is working each of us into a wise plan conceived in the benevolence of his heart. We cannot see it now, nor will it make sense or ease our griefs. But we can continue to hope in the goodness of God.
"To the only wise God be glory forevermore though Jesus Christ! Amen" (Rom. 16:27).
Sadly, however, we have all seen many examples where this doesn't work out right. A child may be brought into the church and given God's promises in baptism, and his parents might faithfully teach him the faith and pray for him day and night, yet he may never come to know the Lord. (Of course, the Bible says we're not merely neutrally unconvinced about Jesus. Unbelievers, rather, actively spurn and reject him in favor of their preferred idols.) Does this mean God has failed? One can hardly blame a parent when he grieves and is upset toward God when his children drift away or fail to embrace Jesus as their Rescuer and Lord. Is God impotent? Aloof? Cavalier? Arbitrary?
As I've been reading through Romans again lately, these questions find their answers. Of course I do not intend to suppose these will satisfactorily calm all the travail a loving Christian parent will surely experience, but I know that they are true. And I might as well impress these lessons upon my own heart now, should I later find myself in this same predicament. So here are three explanations from Romans 9-11 as to why children raised in a godly home and/or in the church fail to grasp Christ.
God has not chosen some for salvation (Romans 9:1-29). In this section of his letter, Paul addressed the question of why the Jews have pretty much cart-blanche written off Jesus as the Messiah. If God promised to save his people and make them a blessing to the world, why then have the Jews failed both to obey the Law and also to trust Christ and so be saved? Haven't God's promises failed? some might ask. An emphatic NO! is his reply. "But it is not as though the word of God has failed" (v. 6). Paul goes on to argue that while God's salvation was truly promised to all of Abraham's descendants, only a portion or remnant of his offspring--"the children of the promise"--are chosen by God. The reality Paul lays out is that God, in his freedom as Creator, has not shown the same mercy upon all people. Why not? It is so that the world will see that salvation lies not in their own abilities and desires and deeds, but in God's. "So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy" (v. 16; cf. v. 11).
God does have "mercy on whomever he wills, and he hardens whom he wills" (v. 19). But this is no injustice. In the Bible, when someone is spoken of being hardened in his sin, this is always God's act of judgment by which he simply gives sinners what they've wanted all along: their own kingdom apart from the Lord's rule. Paul uses the example of Pharaoh, who already hated and rejected God, as one whom God hardened. Likewise Paul shows that God lets people feel the full weight of their sin (1:24, 26, 28), as they wish. By even invoking the word mercy, Paul shows that the natural state of anyone is as a wrath-deserving rebel. If you weren't already an enemy of God, why would it be then mercy which God sheds on you? So in saving only some people, God is simply being more merciful to them than to others.
Unbelievers are simply that--unbelievers (9:30 - 10:21). Paul makes it evident that salvation doesn't demand jumping through spiritual hoops or figuring out some enigmatic metaphysical puzzle. Rather, it's as simple as trusting the message about Jesus Christ, who is near all through the gospel. When Jesus is proclaimed, we are called to believe in him in our hearts and to confess his name publicly. It's as simple as that (10:5-13).
What this means is that as a parent or friend, if you have spoken often and clearly to that person of repentance and faith in Christ and prayed for his salvation, it's not your fault that person doesn't know the Lord. It's his. God's call and his promises are for everyone in the church, all who hear, but some refuse to believe. And in the end, that's the fact. They personally failed to obey the gospel (vv. 16-21). And their faithlessness does not nullify God's faithfulness (3:3-4). They simply rather love something more than the faithful God.
Now this may be seem at odds with the fact that no one believes unless God graciously gives them faith (Phil. 1:29; Eph. 2:8-9; 2 Tim. 2:24-26). But despite the mysteries of election and God's sovereignty, the reality is that God also freely offers eternal life to all through the gospel (John 3:16). God's offer is no less real, neither is their rejection of the gospel and their failure to repent.
God has a good and wise plan, even when we don't understand it fully (11:1-36). Paul finishes his argument for God's fidelity by pointing out that God hasn't given up on Israel even though only a few Jews now believe. Rather, he has for a time opened the door wide so that people from all nations might belong to God. And in due time, Jews again will embrace their Messiah and find their home in the church. But Paul calls this plan a "mystery" contrary to our own human wisdom (v. 25). In the fullness of God's perfect, superior wisdom and purposes, what looks like a puzzling failure or injustice on God's part actually is serving to make his mercy as far-reaching and expansive as possible (vv. 30-32). This leads Paul to break out in praise:
Oh the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!Compared to God, our wisdom is but an infinitestimal droplet. And this must be, in the end, what we take to heart. Yes, God calls all to believe in the gospel of his Son, and only those who believe are saved. Yet at the same time, this belief in Christ is ultimately only granted by God to those whom he has chosen. What to do with this seeming antithesis? We have to look to and trust in God's perfect wisdom.
For who has known the mind of the Lord,
or who has been his counselor?
Or who has given a gift to him
that he might be repaid?
For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen. (11:33-36)
Where is his divine wisdom most fully put on display? It is seen nowhere more radiantly and clearly than in the Cross of Jesus Christ. "For Jews demand signs and Greeks seek wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles, but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God" (1 Cor. 1:22-24; cf. vv. 30-31; Luke 11:31; Col. 2:3). When you look at the Man of Sorrows carrying the world's sickness and sin, hanging on the cross in shame, and dying to bear God's wrath and shed forgiveness upon a world of sinners, do you not see there God's love? His mercy? His goodness? His grace? Can you look at the cross and see in it an evil God, lording his might over the world and wantonly crushing sinners under his finger without a care? No! So we can trust that even when it seems like God is aloof or injust, or even powerless, he is working each of us into a wise plan conceived in the benevolence of his heart. We cannot see it now, nor will it make sense or ease our griefs. But we can continue to hope in the goodness of God.
"To the only wise God be glory forevermore though Jesus Christ! Amen" (Rom. 16:27).
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Freedom under Providence
News flash: Olivia and I are moving back to Richmond, Virginia! Few viable job leads had materialized in Plainfield or anywhere else in nearby Chicagoland, so I contacted my old district in Richmond, Henrico County Public Schools, and within a week I had three interviews lined up. I was eventually offered a biology/chemistry teaching position at Henrico High School, and I was able to negotiate for an extended, higher-paying contract.
As the reality of a move to VA drew near, we trembled at the thought of leaving behind Olivia's home of eleven years. I've become more comfortable living here, too, and yet another major move is certainly less than ideal. But we realized that in the absence of a compelling reason to stay in Illinois, this was clear provision from God in answer to prayers for employment. We knew that neither option--staying in IL or moving to VA--would be sin. We had good, God-fearing motives for each. But we knew we had to quickly make a decision, so we trusted God and went for it, believing that even in a big move such as this, God would be with us.
I felt the freedom to make this decision because I know that "finding God's will" is not about reading a fortune in tea leaves, gazing in a crystal ball for each move, or wanting to see the whole future laid out before we step out in faith. That's condemned as abominable sin, in fact (Deuteronomy 18:9-14). It's easy to get plagued by wanting to know God's secret will for our lives, all the particulars and plans, when those mysteries are never for our knowledge anyway (Deuteronomy 29:29). As servants under God's covenant lordship, all that matters is living by what he has revealed, that is, trusting him and being guided by his law. As we trust and obey his revealed will or "will of command" we can be sure that he will uphold us and carry out his exact plan for our lives, his "hidden will" or "will of decree." My former pastor Kevin DeYoung once preached,
In the biblical truth, however, everything is secured by God. I may fail to follow his revealed will--his law--but I cannot thwart his true purposes for me (his "hidden will" or "will of decree"). "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails" (Proverbs 19:21; see also 16:9, 33; Ephesians 1:11). I can rest in knowing that when I'm faced with two or more choices, neither of which is sinful, then I'm free to really choose and know that all that follows is in God's hands and is according to his plan. I don't have to fear ruining God's will for my life. Only in this way are my choices truly free. And I can rest assured that even when I fail in sin, the Potter does not throw out rebellious, deformed clay. He rather reshapes it again in patience and grace (Jeremiah 18).
In addition, because God has the sovereign power to actually bring the consequences and fruit of my decisions to pass and to make them stick, only a Reformed view makes my choices truly meaningful, more than just vain hopes thrown cast to the winds of chance. God has the ability to "establish the work of our hands for us" (Psalm 90:17), giving lasting weight to our choices and actions. Otherwise I would have no confidence that my decisions to follow God would not be corrupted by someone else; the world would be ruled by existentialist Angst. But it is not so, for "the earth is the LORD's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it" (Psalm 24:1).
__________
*DeYoung, pastor at University Reformed Church (RCA) in East Lansing, MI, has now put his excellent sermon series "Wisdom and the Will of God" into a new book format titled Just Do Something. I'm really looking forward to reading it.
** This is not to say that others outside the Reformed tradition do not hold similar views, but they've largely been influenced by Augustine or the reformers.
As the reality of a move to VA drew near, we trembled at the thought of leaving behind Olivia's home of eleven years. I've become more comfortable living here, too, and yet another major move is certainly less than ideal. But we realized that in the absence of a compelling reason to stay in Illinois, this was clear provision from God in answer to prayers for employment. We knew that neither option--staying in IL or moving to VA--would be sin. We had good, God-fearing motives for each. But we knew we had to quickly make a decision, so we trusted God and went for it, believing that even in a big move such as this, God would be with us.
I felt the freedom to make this decision because I know that "finding God's will" is not about reading a fortune in tea leaves, gazing in a crystal ball for each move, or wanting to see the whole future laid out before we step out in faith. That's condemned as abominable sin, in fact (Deuteronomy 18:9-14). It's easy to get plagued by wanting to know God's secret will for our lives, all the particulars and plans, when those mysteries are never for our knowledge anyway (Deuteronomy 29:29). As servants under God's covenant lordship, all that matters is living by what he has revealed, that is, trusting him and being guided by his law. As we trust and obey his revealed will or "will of command" we can be sure that he will uphold us and carry out his exact plan for our lives, his "hidden will" or "will of decree." My former pastor Kevin DeYoung once preached,
We must renounce our sinful desire to know the future and be in control. We are not gods. We walk by faith, not by sight. We risk because God does not risk. We walk into the future in God-glorifying confidence, not because the future is known to us, but because it is known to God. And that's all we need to know.*Here I think only a historic Augustinian/Reformed view of God's sovereignty and providence can give us humans true, meaningful freedom.* In an Arminian/open theistic view, even in "middle knowledge," God does not control all that happens in the future. He merely knows all that is possible, but human choice directs its course. If "God's will for my life" were really some sort of secret string of pearls I must continue to discover--specific choices and actions I may miss or stray from--then unless God controls me like a puppet, I could inadvertantly thwart his will. "Dang, God wanted me to do that, but I guess I missed it and ended up doing this instead. How was I to know? Both seemed like good options at the time. Can I still get back on track with his plan for me?"
In the biblical truth, however, everything is secured by God. I may fail to follow his revealed will--his law--but I cannot thwart his true purposes for me (his "hidden will" or "will of decree"). "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails" (Proverbs 19:21; see also 16:9, 33; Ephesians 1:11). I can rest in knowing that when I'm faced with two or more choices, neither of which is sinful, then I'm free to really choose and know that all that follows is in God's hands and is according to his plan. I don't have to fear ruining God's will for my life. Only in this way are my choices truly free. And I can rest assured that even when I fail in sin, the Potter does not throw out rebellious, deformed clay. He rather reshapes it again in patience and grace (Jeremiah 18).
In addition, because God has the sovereign power to actually bring the consequences and fruit of my decisions to pass and to make them stick, only a Reformed view makes my choices truly meaningful, more than just vain hopes thrown cast to the winds of chance. God has the ability to "establish the work of our hands for us" (Psalm 90:17), giving lasting weight to our choices and actions. Otherwise I would have no confidence that my decisions to follow God would not be corrupted by someone else; the world would be ruled by existentialist Angst. But it is not so, for "the earth is the LORD's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it" (Psalm 24:1).
__________
*DeYoung, pastor at University Reformed Church (RCA) in East Lansing, MI, has now put his excellent sermon series "Wisdom and the Will of God" into a new book format titled Just Do Something. I'm really looking forward to reading it.
** This is not to say that others outside the Reformed tradition do not hold similar views, but they've largely been influenced by Augustine or the reformers.
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